Look Out! Climate Change to Wreak Havoc on Sports in Canada

By Ben Hamill - July 19 2015
Global Warming

I read that athletes participating in the Pan Am Games have been warned to exhibit extra caution because of the heat wave Toronto is experiencing. Then I read that the heat wave would cause Toronto's high temperature to soar to 30⁰ Centigrade! Since I grew up in Canada and now reside in sunny, warm, and humid Florida, I was caught off guard by the notion that 30⁰ Centigrade might be considered dangerously hot!

Is it all a Hoax?

That led me to think about how global warming and climate change might affect sports in Canada. Now, I'm a global warming skeptic. I am not a denier; maybe the climate is getting warmer and maybe we humans are to blame. But I'm not convinced that the doomsday scenarios we read about will come to pass and, if not, why should we all accept poverty whilst guys like Al Gore and others get bloody rich at our expense?

There are three main reasons why I'm a skeptic. First, I remember that in the 1970's people spoke worriedly about global cooling. In Canada, starting in the mid-1960's there was about a decade of colder than usual winters. In Canada it didn't make headlines because we always have "colder than usual" winters. I never felt that summers were also cooler. Yet, we were told to be very afraid of a new ice age impending. Then, suddenly, the danger was global warming. It turns out that scientists and the media flip flop on the climate every couple of decades. Furthermore, there is some statistical evidence that global warming has slowed to about zero since 1977 despite the incessant rise in atmospheric COâ‚‚.

The second big reason I became a skeptic is that the term global warming suddenly transformed into climate change. It was an obvious ploy to make people fear any extreme weather event. If there are more heavy snowstorms, more tornados, more hurricanes or fewer big snowstorms, fewer tornados, or fewer hurricanes it's all because of climate change. And wouldn't you know it? The same guys who were going to get rich when the bogeyman was global warming are still going to get rich when we all pass laws making us poor because of climate change.

Speaking about the climate change elite getting rich on our backs, hasn't anyone noticed just how big the IPCC carbon footprint is? If All Gore's carbon footprint were his real footprint, he would be the long-sought Yeti!

The third reason I'm a skeptic is because of a great book I read years ago called "Dancing Naked in the Mind Field" by a guy called Kary Mullis who won a Nobel Prize in chemistry for his development of a method of identifying DNA. Mullis discusses global warming and then on page 118 comes out with it: it's hubris to think that we humans could cause temperatures to rise! Now I've never met Kary Mullis but I don't think he's trying to get rich by funneling my standard of living into his bank account.

What Hath Climate Change Wrought?

I read this week that global warming will cause less snow to fall especially on ski slopes. So, the average skier will have less winter in which to ski. Canadian skiing athletes will have less time to practice skiing. They may suffer further by unusual thaws that turn their cherished slopes into slurpies.

On the same vein, the world will have to increase the number of skaters it sends to play hockey in North America since the hallowed frozen back yard will be frozen far less in the future if frozen at all! Come to think of it, the countries of northern and central Europe that funnel an endless supply of hockey talent westward may have the same problems we'll have in getting their young boys enough free outdoor ice time. I anticipate Canadian taxpayers being told they must pay higher taxes so talented young boys can get enough indoor ice time to develop the skating skill needed to play in the NHL.

Budding young female ringette stars will demand and receive taxpayer-funded indoor ringette time. Global warming or no, the hockey playing boys will taunt the ringette playing girls before falling in love with them.

Every Sport Will Be Changed

The CFL season will end up starting in August rather than in July. The Grey Cup Championship game could be played in December! Outdoor curling will give way to synchronised swimming.

Snowmobiling will become slushmobiling; cars will crash through pond and lake ice in February; bird watching will not get into full swing until December as birds get confused by climate change and fly in circles in what will be wistfully remembered as autumn. Maple tree sap will cease to flow. Leaves will change colors later and later and the colors will be pink, purple, and peach. Bears will toss and turn all winter, making them quite cranky come spring, or should we say early summer?

That's Where My Ancestors Left…..

Glaciers will melt and archaeologists will have a field day gathering up all the long-lost artifacts that will tell us much about our First Nations past.

We're to Blame No Matter What

And then, just as the last holdouts in northern Saskatchewan will have put in air conditioning, global warming will give way to global cooling and the ongoing climate change crisis will be blamed on us humans again!

The Stanley Cup Comes Home

One good thing will surely happen as a result of climate change. The hockey rinks in the U.S. will get so warm that it will become impossible to play the Stanley Cup Finals in American cities. It shall be decreed that the Stanley Cup Finals must be played in a "cold" Canadian clime even if no Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since we were all worried about global cooling!

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Sitting in air conditioned comfort despite the heat and humidity collaboration that turn summer into a curdle-fest, I read that athletes at the Pan Am Games in Toronto were being warned about the dastardly Canadian heat and humidity. Temperatures were going to reach the incredible 30⁰ Centigrade! It got me thinking how global warming or climate change would affect our Canadian heritage of outdoor sport.

I decided to devote this week's blog at gamingpoat.ca to this question. I gave three reasons why I'm a global warming skeptic and fully expect the wrath of scorned fanaticism to come down upon me. Then I got into the nitty gritty of how sports in Canada will be affected by the impending endless heat wave. I made one last prediction that will warm the hearts of all true Canadian sports enthusiasts!


Temps to reach 30⁰ in Toronto threatening safety of #PanAmathletes. Blame #globalwarming! How will climate change change #sportsinCanada?