Easter Bunny & Tooth Fairy Now Essential Workers

By Ben Hamill - April 11 2020
SHARE

Easter Bunny & Tooth Fairy Now Essential Workers

Whoever would have thought that access to the delivery of those goods cooked up by the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny would one day be considered “essential” in the face of a global health pandemic killing thousands of people the world over? But apparently with premiers Doug Ford and Francois Legault in the picture, this is very much how things are supposed to be. Or at least what is deemed just and right in Ontario and Quebec.

Read More... John Prine Dies Of Coronavirus

Ontario Premier Doug Ford didn’t waste any time categorising what qualifies as an essential service and what doesn’t during a global state of disaster and on Tuesday declared the Easter Bunny a provider of essential services to the people of his province.

Putting Simple Worries To Bed

Ford, in a special show of fine-tuned humanity, explained the decision and said that children worry about simple things. And that in an effort to help those concerned about the Easter Bunny, and perhaps more importantly his particular condiment of trade, the distribution and delivery of chocolate bunnies and eggs would continue uninterrupted all throughout Easter and the accompanying emergency stay-at-home orders.

Ford swiftly cemented the decision about the Easter Bunny’s emergency-status by way of a written official communication relating to the matter. In his published Confirmation of Essential Service: Easter Bunny, the premier decrees the Easter Bunny in business, albeit subject to all orders already made under Ontario Regulation 50/20 as published on March 17, 2020.

He then goes on to emphasise that no Easter-treats or sweets will be permitted to be delivered to parks, playgrounds or any other area generally serving the purposes of social conventions or get-togethers. Ontario Regulation 104/20 made according to the provisions of the Emergency Management and Civil Protection Act therefore remain in force and applicable to the bringer of everything sweet and chocolaty.

Bunny To Adhere To Distancing

Ford in his written decree made it perfectly clear that even the Easter Bunny, in his infinitely sweet wisdom, must by law obey all social distancing guidelines applicable in the province. Quebec premier Francois Legault has in the meantime done his own bit of taking into account the simple and often overlooked needs of children and has declared the exchange of children’s teeth for a loonie or toonie, to be fully legal during emergency lockdowns.

The decrees passed by the two child-minding premiers isn’t unlike the one recently passed by New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. The Kiwi PM declared the Easter Bunny as well as the Tooth Fairy to be workers delivering essential services and therefore at liberty to have limited movement of freedom across the land.

Get ready to WIN. Play Slots, Blackjack, Roulette and so much MORE online!

SHARE